The Lady and the Pig

When I was young, my grandfather would tell me this story:

An old woman found a dollar.
She wanted a pig.
She said, "I can get a pig. I can get a pig with this dollar."
So she did.
As she was walking the pig home, they came to a stile.
The old woman said,
"Pig, pig, jump over the stile, or I shan't get home tonight!"
The pig said,
"I won't jump over the stile."
And he ran away.
The old woman ran after him.
Along the way the old woman met a dog. She said, "Dog, dog, bite pig. Pig won't jump over the stile,
And I shan’t get home tonight."
The dog said, "I won't bite pig."
So the woman went a little further and she met a stick. She said, "Stick, stick, beat dog. Dog won't bite pig, Pig won't jump over the stile,
And I shan’t get home tonight."
The stick said, "I won't beat dog."
So the woman went a little further and she met a fire. She said, "Fire, fire, burn stick. Stick won't beat dog, Dog won't bite pig, Pig won't jump over the stile,
And I shan’t get home tonight."
The fire said, "I won't burn stick."
So the woman went a little further and she met some water. She said, "Water, water, quench fire. Fire won't burn stick, Stick won't beat dog, Dog won't bite pig, Pig won't jump over the stile,
And I shan’t get home tonight."
The water said, "I won't quench fire."
So the woman went a little further and she met an ox. She said,"Ox, ox, drink water. Water won't quench fire, Fire won't burn stick, Stick won't beat dog, Dog won't bite pig, Pig won't jump over the stile,
And I shan’t get home tonight."
The ox said, "I won't drink water.”
So the woman went a little further and she met a butcher. She said, "Butcher, butcher, kill ox.
Ox won't drink water,
Water won't quench fire,
Fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog,
Dog won't bite pig,
Pig won't jump over the stile,
And I shan’t get home tonight."
The butcher said, "I won't kill ox."
So the woman went a little further and she met a rope. She said, "Rope, rope, hang butcher. Butcher won't kill ox, Ox won't drink water, Water won't quench fire, Fire won't burn stick, Stick won't beat dog, Dog won't bite pig, Pig won't jump over the stile,
And I shan’t get home tonight."
The rope said, "I won't hang butcher."
So the woman went a little further and she met a rat. She said,
"Rat, rat, gnaw rope. Rope won't hang butcher, Butcher won't kill ox, Ox won't drink water, Water won't quench fire, Fire won't burn stick, Stick won't beat dog, Dog won't bite pig, Pig won't jump over the stile,
And I shan’t get home tonight."
The rat said, "Get me some cheese, and I will gnaw the rope."
The old woman got some cheese.
She gave it to the rat.
The rat began to gnaw the rope,
The rope began to hang the butcher,
The butcher began to kill the ox,
The ox began to drink the water,
The water began to quench the fire,
The fire began to burn the stick,
The stick began to beat the dog,
The dog began to bite the pig,
The pig got over the stile,
And the old woman got home that night.

Whenever I remember my grandfather, this is what I remember most. This, and that he was shot in the hand during World War Two.

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